I remember sitting on the floor of Joe’s office a handful of years ago, sobbing because I’d just done the math on how much my PTSD had cost our family including lost wages, therapy & medical bills, debt, house foreclosure, and so on.
$600,000 (at that time).
I think you can see why I believed myself to be a drain on my family.
Being a $600k burden is heavy to bear.
And it’s easy to fall into the trap of viewing ourselves from this perspective because tangibles (like losing a house or NOT getting that paycheck or opening another medical bill) are EASY to see.
What’s less easy to see? Our non-tangible contribution, even when we feel at our worst.
We don’t count or value the love we add to our families or the grace our traumas have taught us to have for self and others.
We don’t count the way we’ve learned to manage overwhelming emotion, triggers, and really shitty stuff or the way we’ve passed those incredible life lessons onto our children, our partners, our friends.
We don’t count how we show up with more compassion and more tolerance for everyone’s lived experiences or how we’ve increased our capacity to make room for hurt, pain, grief, and sadness.
We don’t count how our bravery (as forced as it may feel at times) is changing the world around us… reshaping others’ experiences because they watch us and they go, “I can be brave too.”
We don’t count our ability to find some peace and light even in the darkest of places. And we definitely don’t count our power to hold on even when others have given up.
See, when you move through trauma… when you choose to embrace, heal, and empower your inner world… you do SO MUCH MORE in this outside world than the dollar signs could ever count.
Because society doesn’t tally soothed hearts and improved communication and greater love and making someone’s day just a little brighter.
Yet, just because they don’t count the intangible doesn’t mean our journey to heal – regardless of how much it seems to have cost – isn’t priceless.
Any inner work you do is INFINITELY times worth the investment because it doesn’t just impact your life, it ripples through every life that touches yours.
On the days (like today) where even I forget that, my hubs Joe is always there to remind me.
He likes to say, “If you take XYZ into consideration, you’ve actually cost us over a million dollars.”
Then he’ll dip his head, look straight into my eyes, and say, “And you’re worth every penny.”
One because I exist.
Two because of how my healing work has blessed and continues to bless our family and the world.
You matter, and you’re worth whatever it takes to break free from the shackles of the past, rediscover your authenticity and power, and shine like the motherfucking sun you were always designed to be!
I love you.
For your muchness & magick,
P.S. Start with Finding Yourself, Magick & Joy Again (my free 2-day mini-course).
it’s time to rev up your healing journey!!! Because if you’re not standing in radical self-love, both you and the world are missing out on the gifts, passion, and power you could be bringing to the table.